Wind Surfing

Last night Summer and I went to a fireside, or church meeting, given by Nolan Porter. Porter was training to be an air force pilot when he was struck by lightning while windsurfing in Florida. He was with his two brothers when the accident happened, but was actually rescued by members of the Blue Angels flight crew who were on the beach having a barbecue at the time. He and his brothers where trying to get back to shore because of the storm when the lightning struck. He stopped breathing and his brothers went out of their boat to rescue him. For some reason, however, they weren't able to get to him. Members of the Blue Angels heard the commotion and got in their boat to help out. When they got there one of them dived in to rescue him. He unfastened him from the surfboard, but then lost him and he began to sink. He swam down to try to find him but couldn't. On the way up, however, he felt his foot and was able to get grab him and get him back to the ship. On the ship they started CPR and got him back to land. They continued CPR for a long time, but were about to give up. His brother, however, wouldn't let them. He then made it to the hospital. In the hospital his heart stopped eight times over several weeks. They were going to unplug him from life support, but again he survived. He eventually made it back home to Utah. He was initially paralyzed from the neck down, but over time he was able to regain ability to use his muscles and now can walk again. He has also been blessed with two kids and has gotten a masters degree since the accident.

It was a pretty neat fireside. And its nice to know that I'm not the only one in my situation. Hopefully all continues to go well and I get back everything I used to have. If all goes as planned I will do some rotations at the U med school in the next few months. Hopefully that will allow me to prove that I can go back and finish residency.

As a side note, and knowing that pictures are liked, I've included some photos that we took while getting rid of a household pest.

Decisions

Will and I are coming up on another year of preparing applications and getting the go ahead to apply for residency.  I wish that I could say that this decision and movement in this direction is cut and dry.  We've learned from past experience that it is not. We have been looking for the one thing that will prove Will is ready to go back. But the truth is-- we still need help. We need to be able to "mentor" him back-- with education and "on the job training."  Those of you who have been following the blog for the past two years, know that we have run up against a lot of walls- dead ends. The most difficult wall was our not being able to reengage in Ohio. This blow knocked us down and took us out for awhile.

I am learning to look at Will's recovery differently. From the eyes of "what are we supposed to learn" and "how can we make the right decisions at the right time."As far as what we are to learn: In a perfect world Will would have never had a stroke. In a perfect world we wouldn't have to face hard decisions and at times what seems like unsurmontable trials. Or is the truth that this is the only way to perfection. What is really being tested and decided at this point is our characters. Not whether or not Will is going to be a doctor. The reality is that time will tell and we have very little power over how fast Will recovers. However, the great and unforgettable blessing in this time of trial continues to be that I have Will, and he has me (and we have Wilson on the way). 

As for "how can we make the right decisions at the right time" well if you could picture shrinking to the size of a human cell and flying through Will's ear and connecting to his Hypothalamus through one of his major blood vessels-- and then watching the nuerons paste themselves back together and re-direct around the damaged areas-- then you can guess that not even the most studied doctor can tell you when the "exact moment" Will will be able to return to practice medicine. The only way I know to find the answers to these questions (and the answer to the biggest question of all --  "will he even return to practicing medicine") is prayer.  I have felt the answers to some of these difficult questions. The Lord-- does know what is going on in my husbands mind.  He knows the beginning from the end. I know he will direct us one question at a time, as he has in the past. 

As for the answers I have found and know for certain, Will's brain is still healing.  It is exciting to see Will do things that he has never done before. For example he has been sitting in front of a computer screen for the past two hours typing a talk he will give tomorrow at toastmasters. He has typed more than a page already. (Jump back a year ago he was barely able to type a few paragraphs without getting frustrated with the mechanics of the keyboard and the computer programs-- these are no longer an issue).  Will has also stepped off a few critical plateaus in the past few months-- having to do with fatigue and inattention-- he is much more attentive than he has ever been.  His memory also continues to show improvement. I believe that Will is going to be able to preform at very high levels in the future. That our tears will be turned into diamonds. Keep watching and praying! For both Will and I and in your own lives, the answers will come.

Sincerely,

Summer

ps  As you've probably guessed our son's current nickname is Wilson-- "Will's Son."  We got our first little baby boy outfit this week and everytime I walk past it I have to touch it and imagine our little boy in it. We are soooo excited to be parents. 

pps The pics are Will watching one, of many, programs my nieces put on for us at family gatherings. The other is us at Liberty Park-- alright I admit it -- a park instead of a climb or hike is what I am up to now-a-days. So sue me ;)

Ultimate Frisbee

For the past while I have enjoyed playing a sport called Ultimate Frisbee. Unfortunately I don't know the details of the sport. You know, stuff like where it started, or who invented it. But I do enjoy playing it. It's really simple, all you do is throw the frisbee from one team member to the next until you get across the goal. If you drop the frisbee, or it hits the ground, the other team gets it. You can't run with the frisbee, however, you have to pass it. I think I started playing when I was in high school so I've known about it for a while.

Since this is my recovery blog I suppose I should relate the topic to my recovery. Frisbee has nothing to do with my life in Ohio, or my stroke, but I am thankful that I can still play. I was really lucky. I could be dead, or paralyzed on one side of my body, but I'm not. I can still function, and do any physical thing I did before. Meanwhile, I imagine I still have a few more mountains to climb, but I know I have the ability to keep going.

PS For those of you wondering about our baby, and specifically what it is, here is a video for you . . .

If you cannot see the video-- check it out at the following link Blueberry

Perception

I'll start this blog on a soap box and end up on Will's recovery (With a couple of blueberry comments mixed in of course). My soap box. This morning I was listening to a talk on William Tyndale. He was a scholar and protestant who lived in the 1500's, who despite death threats from the catholic church, went into hiding to translate and publish the bible into english so it could be available to the common people. While this is an act of heroism, in his day it was a perceived to be an act of "throwing pearls before swine." He was thrown in jail for a year and a half and then hung and burned at the stake.

Truth is something worth fighting for even if those around us don't always see it. In Ohio, and here in Utah, Will has received some ugly, and not true, marks. He has been perceived to some doctors as not caring and uninterested in becoming a doctor. However, in an interview Will had this week he was deemed overqualified for a lab position that could give him more experience and lead to continuing his career as a doctor. Perception right now is killing us. Many reading the blog may have the impression that I am the driving force (seeing as I am the vocal one ;) Well the truth is I have asked and almost begged him to let this go. To move onto a different career. It's too hard to get back in. His deficits too great. Will knows and I'm guessing the followers of this blog know that whether I am married to a janitor or a doctor it doesn't matter. All I want is to be with Will and for him to be happy. But Will refuses to let go. His love for medicine and to work in the field of medicine has only grown since the stroke. He also once said to me "What kind of example would I be to our children if I gave up, we want them to learn the value of hard work…"

So the next question is -- why such a discrepancy in perception. Well I am going to hit you all really hard on the head with a cast iron -- I mean really hard ;) And then ask you a lot of questions and expect high performance and clear answers. Meanwhile, don't close your eyes while I am talking to you, and whatever you do Don't try to sleep off the jolt. That is not acceptable in the "real world" we have to be vigilant and anxious at all times or we're not successful. I know I am being dramatic. But I hope the drama has created the effect I was looking for. Will is and continues to work himself out of a daze. Instead of a cast iron, Will's brain was deprived of oxygen for more than 13 hours. The fact that he is alive is a miracle in itself. Him taking more than a couple of years to recover is exactly what I expect, with so traumatic of injury. So will he ever fully recover is the real question we're asking? The good news is we still don't have to rename this blog. Will seems to come out of his daze more and more every day/week. It is harder to see the change. Much like at first as a child they seem to change weekly but by their late teens it is hard to identify physical changes as readily. Will's recovery gets more difficult to describe, but I can guarantee the doctors in Ohio who saw him a half a year ago would see notable changes. He is just more with it now. His logic and ability to describe situations is more dynamic. Will is recovering. He is not 75 and at the end of life. He's 32 and just beginning. His brain has great capacities to heal-- just watch the blog you'll see great things happen :)

So the blueberry comments I promised-- I've posted a picture of my ever growing belly. Meanwhile, Will's smile is also ever growing with the approach of the birth of his first child. We will find out May 11th if we are having a girl or boy. My guess is it is a girl and Will's guess is that it is a healthy baby. So I hope Will is right and I imagine I've got a fifty percent chance of being right. We're soooo excited to be parents, despite financial hardships I can't imagine not having this child come into our lives at this time!

Sincerely,

Summer

Biking in Colorado

So last weekend Summer and I went with her sisters and there husbands and families on a bike riding trip to Colorado. The trip started out with almost being canceled. Derik, Summer's brother in law, who was pretty much planning the trip called us up at 11:00 the night before we were supposed to leave to tell us that he couldn't go because he had to much work to do. Well, that of course was not acceptable so we worked on it a little bit and it ended up that he could go. We just had to leave a little later than we had originally planned. In other words we got to our campsite at about 1:00 in the morning. Anyway we all slept well that night and the next day after a delicious breakfast prepared by Summer we were ready to hit the trails. Well almost. I, unfortunately, had the misfortune of having a flat tire and so while the rest of the group went for a ride Summer and I went into town to find a bike shop. We did and were able to get my bike in working order in time for the afternoon ride. The afternoon ride was great, the first half was uphill and then it was downhill with some great scenery. Unfortunately, just before we reached the downhill part of it, Tyler, my other brother-in-law, got a flat tire. It was kind of more than a flat tire, a small explosion maybe. Anyway, Summer was nice enough to offer to let him take her bike and walk back with his. Part of her willingness may have something to do with the little blueberry (baby) inside of her. So with that we finished riding the trail and then found Summer at the end of it. After that we went back to camp and had a delicious dinner and played some games before retiring. The next day Summer and I went with Tyler and Cami around the lake and then we took off for a picnic and relaxing ride home.

The first four pictures are from the trip. The last two, however, are from a recent hike Summer and I took up Waterfall canyon in Ogden.

Announcement

So we've just entered a whole new realm of recovery. It's called Will takes over all the tasks and meals of the day while I try to keep from loosing my second lunch. As you've guessed, Will is going to be a father! I've moved through a hundred different phases since we learned the news January 17th. I vacillate between "Yippee" and "Holy cow-- I'm gonna be a mom." The next paragraph is Will's blurp on the baby news- On my side I have to tell you I am thrilled. Becoming a mother has always been a life time dream of mine and I keep pinching myself just to make sure it is real. I thank heaven everyday that Will is the one who will bring balance to the force-- I always worried that my children would never know how to sit still and be calm. I now have a little hope for my offspring. I'll finish the blog with the specifics to the baby timeline, but for now know that this baby is a new and very strong motivating factor in Will's life. He is really on fire lately with his efforts to return to "normalcy" he is up on his own every morning, studying and preparing and exercising for the day. He is applying for jobs part of the week and volunteering the other half the week. OK-- so I'm giving the keyboard over to Will now...

Well, that was quite the introduction. I do have to say though that I am very excited and hope to be a good father. I'm sure it will take a little bit of learning (probably a whole lot), but I hope that not to many mistakes are made along the way. Anyway, we are through the first trimester and Summer is having a little bit of an easier time now. We hope that continues. We have a biking trip to Colorado planned for next week and hope that turns out well.

OK it is Summer again-- so the baby details--- We got our first ultra sound (below) at 8 1/2 weeks. The baby's head was the same size as the body and in all the baby was three quarters of an inch long. Our next appointment was a week and a half ago. We were about 13 weeks along and we heard the heartbeat. The baby has fingers, toes, lungs, eyes, lips, and all the other parts that baby's have at 13 weeks. Currently the baby is about an inch and a half long, and the size of a small orange. We are due Sept. 28, 2010 and will find out in the next month and a half whether it is a boy or girl. I will attempt not to turn this into a "baby blog" but will probably mention our little blueberry often in the posts. Because of the latest news our focus is on getting Will a job with benefits. I am not working-- but I have been writing for newspapers and doing a bunch of contract work at home. I have to say-- getting a guy with a doctorate's degree a more entry level job is practically impossible-- darn doctorate degree getting in the way ;) He is still studying for the Boards and hopes to take them this summer and reapply for residency this fall -- keep your fingers crossed and your prayers going!

Summer & Will

ps The last picture is of Will building a garden box with my dad. Since living here we couldn't help but hop on the garden train. This year we have planted potatoes and want to plant carrots and squash when the weather warms.

Ice Castles

I just finished watching a movie, "Ice Castles," about a skater who makes it to nationals than is injured and goes blind. In an instant everything is taken away from her. Now a little background on me. I don't cry during movies, but I fought back tears the entire show. In the movie the girl skates at nationals and no one finds out she is blind until after. It is not a true story and it was not something that really happened. But the tears still stung as I watched. I could only think of Will. How much he had. How much sacrifice he had made to get to where he was. President Bill Clinton was at his Graduation to congratulate him and his fellow Graduates on their hard work and accomplishment. I can tell you in Will's recovery- the pain of wanting to be back to where he was-- of him wanting to be a doctor does not dull. Will wants to practice medicine. He was born to serve and watch over people. I have always known this. It is one of the traits about him that I fell in love with instantly. He is compassionate and would never dream of hurting someone. What a true doctor should be. Why so much has been taken away from him - still causes tears to fall. So as this is his recovery blog I will let you in on the secret... that it is still hard. But watching Will weep over his misgivings and then stand to fight another day makes be believe it is not over yet.

Unlike the movie, Will and I are doing the real life thing. The how do we get him back where he can perform. What do we do with the entirely overwhelming medical school debt, my mortgage and our wanting a family. This is reality. I have decided the real heros aren't just the ones who rise after they fall, but it is the ones who rise after they fall again and again. Watching Will rise makes me fall in love with him all over again each day. I am truly the luckiest girl in the world. Such character is really the end all be all. The secret and meaning to everything we do here on earth. I return to invite you to not buckle, to be valiant in your values. No matter what the world throws at you-- don't throw it back. Give em back something better.

As for what we've been up to, Will has and continues to make some real strides. He has his "part time" job at Lingustica. He is at the Maliheh Free Clinic volunteering almost everyday. He continues to attend morning rounds. He is studying more than ever. And he continues his church service, two weeks ago he taught a lesson in Elders Quorum. It took him half the time it usually does to prepare and he delivered it beautifully to the class. This week he is giving a "speech" to his fellow toastmasters in his toastmasters class. As a side note Will's father attends this class with him every week and the two are working to improve their presentation skills. It is great to have Will's dad helping out in this area. As for the minor stuff you might not want to do summersaults over but I do- are his waking up without my prompting at 5:30 am to get to morning report on time. And his ability to recall what he learns there. OK, I am sure this entry is long enough. Thanks for taking the time to read our blog. Keep praying and keep watching.


Summer Blackhurst

ps I don't have a lot of pictures for you this week. The one I've posted is typical Will, paying attention to our nieces and nephews-- he sure is a big deal to them :)