A million times a day

I've been reading "Stroke of Insight" a book written by Jill Bolte Taylor. She is a brain scientist who experienced a massive stroke at 37 years old when a blood vessel exploded in the left side of her brain. You can imagine the amount of physical/mental change that happened to her in that moment. A change that would take eight years to recover what was lost. She lost her ability to walk, speak and especially read. None of it came back in a day, but it all came back -- and she now tours the country as a brain scientist with a special message to share about the brain. Like Will, she does not feel like she lost anything from having had the stroke (hence the title of her book). She emphasizes that there is full and complete recovery after a stroke, and the only reason people stop recovering is because they stop trying...

This brings me to the topic of this blog entry. There is a phrase in her book that rings very true to me. "Recovery was a decision I had to make a million times a day." She not only was lacking the appropriate physical/mental abilities to reengage at the levels she needed to resume a "normal life" she had also lost the desire to do so. She talks about what it feels like to live in her "uninjured right brain" to have no cares, simply to live in a world of ecstatic bliss- she lost all desire to return to the complicated and at times "angry" world. For Will the "recovery goals" like Jill Bolte were superficial at times. "What was the point." Will said to me, a couple months after his stroke with tears flowing freely "what does it matter I'm not ever going to be a doctor again anyways." Many times in a stroke recovery the "caregiver" at first has the responsibility to set their goals for the stroke victim and help them realize what they are missing. After time their abilities return and the victim of a stroke can take that responsibility.

Will has been taking on a tremendous amount of responsibility lately. It is sooo exciting to have him step up to the plate and take over bills, budgeting and more complicated tasks. He is often found multi-tasking, jumping from one activity to the next without reminder. And when things get difficult-- I remind him "This is a decision you have to make a million times a day -- push through it." We know we'll make it through, and Will is going to practice medicine once again.

Speaking of practicing medicine, we're currently at another bend in Will's return to full recovery-- Will begins his trial rotations next week. We left Utah Monday morning and arrived in Ohio Tuesday night. We let go of Utah's towering mountain tops,but welcomed Columbus' majestic autumn terrain. I love it here!! Above are photos of Will in front of the apartment where he lived when he had the stroke and him standing in front of a nearby river. I've also posted a picture of Will and I playing Ultimate Frisbee in Bear Lake with my Family two weeks ago. Thank you for all of your support and prayers and stay tuned -- I'm sure I'll have a lot to blog about in the coming weeks ;)