Decisions

Will and I are coming up on another year of preparing applications and getting the go ahead to apply for residency.  I wish that I could say that this decision and movement in this direction is cut and dry.  We've learned from past experience that it is not. We have been looking for the one thing that will prove Will is ready to go back. But the truth is-- we still need help. We need to be able to "mentor" him back-- with education and "on the job training."  Those of you who have been following the blog for the past two years, know that we have run up against a lot of walls- dead ends. The most difficult wall was our not being able to reengage in Ohio. This blow knocked us down and took us out for awhile.

I am learning to look at Will's recovery differently. From the eyes of "what are we supposed to learn" and "how can we make the right decisions at the right time."As far as what we are to learn: In a perfect world Will would have never had a stroke. In a perfect world we wouldn't have to face hard decisions and at times what seems like unsurmontable trials. Or is the truth that this is the only way to perfection. What is really being tested and decided at this point is our characters. Not whether or not Will is going to be a doctor. The reality is that time will tell and we have very little power over how fast Will recovers. However, the great and unforgettable blessing in this time of trial continues to be that I have Will, and he has me (and we have Wilson on the way). 

As for "how can we make the right decisions at the right time" well if you could picture shrinking to the size of a human cell and flying through Will's ear and connecting to his Hypothalamus through one of his major blood vessels-- and then watching the nuerons paste themselves back together and re-direct around the damaged areas-- then you can guess that not even the most studied doctor can tell you when the "exact moment" Will will be able to return to practice medicine. The only way I know to find the answers to these questions (and the answer to the biggest question of all --  "will he even return to practicing medicine") is prayer.  I have felt the answers to some of these difficult questions. The Lord-- does know what is going on in my husbands mind.  He knows the beginning from the end. I know he will direct us one question at a time, as he has in the past. 

As for the answers I have found and know for certain, Will's brain is still healing.  It is exciting to see Will do things that he has never done before. For example he has been sitting in front of a computer screen for the past two hours typing a talk he will give tomorrow at toastmasters. He has typed more than a page already. (Jump back a year ago he was barely able to type a few paragraphs without getting frustrated with the mechanics of the keyboard and the computer programs-- these are no longer an issue).  Will has also stepped off a few critical plateaus in the past few months-- having to do with fatigue and inattention-- he is much more attentive than he has ever been.  His memory also continues to show improvement. I believe that Will is going to be able to preform at very high levels in the future. That our tears will be turned into diamonds. Keep watching and praying! For both Will and I and in your own lives, the answers will come.

Sincerely,

Summer

ps  As you've probably guessed our son's current nickname is Wilson-- "Will's Son."  We got our first little baby boy outfit this week and everytime I walk past it I have to touch it and imagine our little boy in it. We are soooo excited to be parents. 

pps The pics are Will watching one, of many, programs my nieces put on for us at family gatherings. The other is us at Liberty Park-- alright I admit it -- a park instead of a climb or hike is what I am up to now-a-days. So sue me ;)