The breaking point...

I've been thinking. Will's story is inspiring, and motivates, and makes you want to be better in the face of adversity, at least at first… Three years ago when he woke up for the first time after his stroke, or when he said "go fish" with clarity, or when he flew home to Utah and ran around the Bountiful track for the first time, or when he did a triathlon, or when he gave his first talk in church, and so on. But what about now? What about three years later? The struggle is still so real. He still hasn't secured a job -- and many times in the place of opportunities, some are gently closing their doors to him. It is times like these where I think, how much longer are we going to be called to go through this? It is so hard for Will-- doesn't he deserve more?  He is such a great man.  

Sometimes I am just angry. Sometimes I am sad. But I guess my take home message is it's not over. We need to endure, and continue to cope in appropriate ways. I know Will is one of many, or maybe he is just a symbol of all of us that are all called to pass through hard times that are not pleasant and that were not what we expected or "deserved." And sometimes we wonder if the hard times will ever end. With this in mind, Will's story is more inspiring than ever. It's easy to not give up when everyone is watching (the first year, or second) but what about when you're on your own. When many of the decision makers have turned from you. It is more inspiring to have faith where there is not a clear road ahead. Will continues to appropriately move through his trial. He lets himself feel the sorrow that comes with his loss, but he also continues to pull up his boot straps and go to work. I am more glad than ever to be married to such a wonderful man. What a blessing he is in my life.

As for the everyday details in our life-- Will is giving his last toastmaster's speech this week and he and his father are moving on to an intensive study regime to help prep him for the boards. Will's lab work is increasing in hours as the lead researcher at the lab is giving him more complex experiments to preform on the heart cells he is working with (I'm sure Will will give you more details on this as he is going to blog soon). He is also preparing to take a test, mid-March, to get a limited license for becoming a radiology technician. He continues to be a favorite at the clinic where he volunteers-- as he gained some popularity this week when coworkers there discovered an article I wrote. Originally, I believed it would be published in a small magazine-- somehow things took an unexpected turn and landed in the state's two largest newspapers-- talk about overwhelming ;).  As for Benjamin Bunny and I, we are still learning how to live with one another. The only thing we know for sure is that we're hooked. I love the kid and he seems to be pretty attached himself. This motherhood thing is great!  Watch for more details on our life in the next post-- Will is always better and giving details than I am... Meanwhile, keep believing things will get better and they usually do ;)

Hard times don't last forever

I am going to take a minute to share some experiences I have been a part of, and hope the stories I will tell will not diminish the feelings of the persons more closely involved.

Two years ago Rolf, my boss from my reporter days,  and his wife got the phone call every parent dreads.  Their son had not shown up for work. He had not been seen for a week. He was a single 30-year-old (and a friend of mine).  Though they searched for months for him, they never found him. Yesterday morning I got a phone call. It was the reporter who had taken my place more than five years ago when I left the Clipper, our local newspaper. I thought she wanted me to write something because they were in a pinch (occasionally I write for the Clipper or judge a spelling bee for them). Well as you have already assumed the phone call was not about writing. It was about Rolf. He had passed away that morning. He was around 60 years old. He had been dealing with a bad case of the flu when things went south. He died in the hospital of septic shock. It was also only about two weeks ago, Will and I witnessed a horrific accident. Both the passenger and driver were severely injured and all we, and the other first responders, could do is wait for the ambulance(and lifeflight) to take them away.

If you follow this blog you know that I have mentioned often my belief in God and his plan for us. I admit in moments like this I feel a little betrayed, and doubt His mercy. My heart aches for the families involved in these situations. Why would anyone be asked to go through this? Is God punishing them or teaching them a lesson? The answers for me have come as I read the scriptures and prayed to the Lord asking him why.  Death is not the end of families.  And the Lord does not punish us by taking them away from us for a time. And like those involved in the accident, we are left for a small moment but then the Lord enfolds us in the arms of his mercy. I am adding a link to a video clip on overcoming tragedy and another on the belief that families can be together forever.

In news related to Will and I and Baby, we are all in good health. Ben is grabbing his toes and eating rice cereal. I am trying to guess what each of his miniature squawks mean and why he doesn't sleep all the way through the night.  Will is still volunteering day and sometimes night to keep up on his studies and get back what he lost. And in the evenings,when he is home, we are giving mom and dad's upstairs a new look. As a follow-up to the prior entry-- I have heard doctors talking about Giffords situation saying that she can heal for up to 18 months after the shooting. To this I say- "poppycock." She'll be healing for years ;)  Will just passed his third year anniversary of the stroke (Feb. 1, 2008), and his recovery is still going strong!