Wading through...

I don't know if I am the only one that does this, but sometimes I get my mind so wrapped up into one thought-- if things don't go the way I plan them than I'm a wreck. A week or two a go I was in one of my mind warps where I was determined to accomplish a few objectives. The more days that passed and I couldn't realize my goals I became more and more upset. I was also angry and unreasonable at moments. In fact in one of these moments I found myself trying to put our newborn down for the night. Generally, putting down James is such a treat. Holding him close is so peaceful. Watching him breath and smile in his sleep, I just melt. But this particular night as I held him I felt nothing, and in that moment I realized something. We can block out love. We can block out all the good if we are not careful. Things can seem so much worse than they really are. Our thoughts can put us places where we neglect very important relationships and miss out on some of life's most beautiful sunsets. 

When I think about what Will has gone through and the difficult waters he still has to wade through I know he could be in a very dark place, but he is not. Finding the beautiful in the hard times is critical. I would hate to miss my newborn's love and I know Will could have missed out on our marriage and so much more if he would have succumb to despair. It's not worth spending even a minute there. And even though none of us are perfect and I'm sure we all fall into a pit of pity from time to time; making a conscience effort to climb out will help us see that there is so much more to life than we ever imagined. And our blessing are great indeed :)

In his arms

Our baby boy was born September 7,2012. I had no idea that having two children would double our joy. Little James is so sweet. He was born 8 lbs and came into our world with just as much hair as Ben had at his age. It will yet to be seen if he will be a toe head like our little Ben. His bigger brother seems just as thrilled about our new addition as we are. He never tires of holding him, and first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening Ben asks to see him.

The blessings haven't come without their trials of course. Ben went into survival mode for the first few days after the baby came home. And when I say survival mode I mean Tantrum mode. He wanted his mom to hold him all the time (which is very atypical of him). It took an hour and a half of crying for him to finally go to bed at night. I am going to relate this to life. Actually, Will did the best job of relating this particular difficulty to the bigger picture. One of these difficult nights Will was in trying to console Ben. And our sweet Ben threw his arms around his daddy and held on tight. At that moment Will said he felt like that is what the Lord would have us do during our hard times. Hold on tight. I know in the scriptures it often mentions that we are to cleave unto the Lord. I believe that with the same love and intensity we are to cleave unto our Father in Heaven. I know the Lord is pleased as we do so, and as we cleave unto him the peace does come and the night is not so dark.