What if...

For the past year I've been hoping to catch even just a glimse of what happened with Gabrielle Giffords. Just thinking about the sequences of pain, loss, and anger that she must be cycling through at having her very identity taken away or all of the sudden changed by a freak accident/incident.  You can't imagine how long it has taken Will to begin to accept that one day he was a doctor and the next he couldn't remember what he had for breakfast or which part of the heart pumped out blood and which part let it in.  For Giffords,  I think some of her heightened deficits are the reasons the press was kept from her for so long. Because when you build it up in your mind as - she'll be back to her old self-- than she can return to her career or position in society as her "old self."

I sometimes wonder if we let Will "free" to the "press" too soon. If the first impressions doctors had of him when he returned for his trial rotation was their final impression-- that he couldn't possibly cross back to who he was. When we took Will to Ohio to be assessed I rehearsed with him pictures and names of his associates there-- so he could come across as being more competent. Now if we were to return I wouldn't reherse names with him.  I wouldn't have to rehearse anything with him. When we talk now - he reminds me of dates and names. He explains medical information to me in detail and with great interest. If we had waited and "released" Will this year (instead of two years ago) would we have had more of a chance?

While I didn't see Giffords entire interview-- I saw parts of it. Giffords is unable to speak in full sentences. She is also unable to walk on her own. She was definitely different.  People kept talking about a return to her position in office. But I think that was for show. I assume she and the rest of the crew knows, it's too soon to tell.  In the meantime, Giffords was beaming. She was funny. She was strong. Gabby walks with a limp- but she walks tall.

A few of Will's brothers and sisters gathered to play ultimate frisbee Thanksgiving Day 

Reconcile

So I have a thing. We have to eek out at least two blog posts a month.  But for me it's a lot less eeking cause I have a thing for writing. For Will-- he is fine with it but it's not as much his thing.... Why am I telling you this...We're late on this post and you might hear from me a few times in a row in the next week.

We have good excuses for being late on our posts.  We moved. Will was in Ohio for a little bit and we were unable to leave our beds this last week cause we had a nasty case of stomach flu. The logical thing would be to tell you the details-- why we moved, why Will was in Ohio and the details to the stomach flu-just kidding I'll spare you those details.  But you know me-- Will's in the details, I'm in the stories. So Hold tight and Will will tell you about his interview with a PA school in Ohio.  Our move is complicated but it's having to do with selling the condo I own - maybe Will will tell you more about that too.

It is because of the above mentioned experiences in our life-- that I feel like the pressure is building. The pressure to get results, the pressure to move on with our lives, to find a way to not live in a box in my parents backyard the rest of our life. It was really weird marrying Will and knowing that our earning potential may be a dr.'s wage or may be quite a different wage.  As it goes medical school debt really only makes sense on a dr's wage. So how do you reconcile the bills. I believe it has a lot more to do with living what you know than it does with how much money you make. In the end, it really doesn't matter if we make $$ or $$$, it matters how we lived. So I think the best way to reconcile is to be OK with who you are at the moment, doing the very best to make the person in the next moment proud of the person in the prior moment.

Will in Ohio at his interview