A New Day

If we spend too much time looking back, we'll never move forward. I can say this because at times our progress has been stifled because too much energy was focused on: Why did this happen, or Will can't do that anymore because of...(you fill in the blank).  Feeding on past failures only sets the stage for future regrets. I want to be blunt for a moment. There are probably plenty of people in the reach of our situation who doubt or don't believe we are spending our time wisely in trying to return to medicine. Perhaps we are holding onto false hope or unattainable goals. Especially if you know someone personally affected by a head injury-- you know the road to recovery is long and arduous and at times impassable.

We are keenly aware that time is a factor in every recovery and there is a balance between waiting for the return of functioning and moving on.  There is great power in moving on and letting go. In fact it is necessary to our  emotional healing….Accepting that we have deficits/weaknesses is not giving up on them.... it is the first step in overcoming them if it is possible or learning the compensating skills to move on. I also know at times these realizations do mean changing your dreams/career, but sometimes they don't.

As far as the logistics to Will's recovery-- we are in constant communication with Will's doctors/rehab specialist and our neruo psychologist in developing additional activities for Will's recovery. I believe science and faith compliment one another. Will's faith leads him to action. Day by day his efforts lead to improved cognitive ability. Those improvements lead to more ability which lead to more recovery. When the faith or works stop than recovery does as well.  So for now we'll continue on this path, and continue to lead with: faith is the great healer and miracles do happen based on our belief (see previous blog entry).

So to end I'll finish with our "New Day."  Will passed his test!  He now has his limited scope license to work as a xray technician.  While we have not secured Will a job in this field, he has been given the go ahead to preform xrays at the clinic where he volunteers. I anticipate in future entry's Will is going to be able to give you the logistics and details to this success and hopefully other successes he is currently having, with toastmasters and his lab research.  But my point is we're still going strong.  He does get better everyday.  I do see a return to medicine for Will --- only time will tell when that may be but stick with us cause we're in it for the long haul.

Summer

ps I have a new favorite book "Over my head." It's a page turner! It's about a doctor who was in a bike accident and tried to return to practicing medicine but found herself instead with a serious brain injury that would take years to heal. I even recommend it to people who don't know anyone who has had a brain injury/stroke, this is good stuff!

Reality

The other day I went into Ben's six month well visit, and as I was waiting for the doctor I had a conversation with the nurse that has sent me thinking. About two years ago she was diagnosed with leukemia. At the time the doctor told her it was only in stage two. Once treatments were over, and the cancer was removed through chemo however, she found out her situation had been much more serious than she had thought. Initially the cancer had indeed spread to multiple places in her body and had been in the final stages-- stage four. Her doctor, in his wisdom, had decided not to tell her the severity of the cancer until she was out of the woods, he told her patients fair better when the diagnosis "seems" more hopeful.

Can you believe it? One person's "belief" in their condition or "lack of belief" can change everything. I know faith in something we can't see does make a difference. I imagine this doctor understood this principle. Some might debate this doctor's counterfeit diagnosis. But what might have happened to this nurse if she had thought- she only had a few months to live instead of years to her life. It could have changed everything. Her children could be motherless right now. I could go on to discuss the ethics of this patient/doctor communication, but that is not the purpose of my post. My purpose is to better understand faith. Faith changes everything. Our belief in a better day, makes a better day. Our faith really does change the future. It changes how we live. And when we lack faith, we take away our accountability to "getting better" to "being better." At this point our values change. We hold other people accountable for our not getting better or not giving us the opportunities we think we deserve, and so on. Thereby taking away any real responsibility we might have to changing our undesirable situation.

So come with me on one last journey while I end this post. In David Archuleta's pop song "Something 'bout love" it talks about Love breaking your heart and setting you free. Instantly I thought of Will. His love has changed me.  I am a better person. I would do anything for him. I find myself changing bad habits, not because he asks me to, but because I love him. I don't want to disappoint. His love sets me free in the sense that I am more accepting of myself. I do better, which leads to being better which leads to feeling better which leads to more love and more faith.  I bring this example up because it is a physical pattern that teaches us about a very spiritual principle. I believe that it is our faith and love in our Savior which heals us all. Whether it be disappointments or physical aliments. As long as we demonstrate our faith we can be healed or glean strength to bear those heart aches that lie before us.