Happiness...

"Happiness is a form of Courage" this is a quote I came across a few weeks ago. I think a million things when I read it, but mostly I just agree. Life isn't for the faint of heart and it isn't always easy to find the positive and happy in every situation. I think it takes some real courage. It takes believing in things you don't see. It takes standing up against everyone who tells you you can't, or that tells you it's not worth it.   It takes endurance and faith.  I'm assuming one of the reasons it is so empowering to be around people that are generally happy, is because they inspire. They don't put down people around them or situations that seem to push them into a corner. They face their future with hope and not doubt. Happiness takes courage.

As for the day to day of our lives, I am bigger than ever. People are already wondering if I'm going to pop and I still have a month and a half until the big due date. I guess I just carry my babies on the outside. Ben's cast is off and I sometimes wonder if he even remembers that he had it on. It was such a pain while it lasted but the pain is long gone now. As for the topic of this blog, my husband, he is a trooper. He's been in the midst of searching for jobs, and in the meantime he has decided to take up some courses on medical research at the University of Utah. As well, he is still volunteering on a research project at the U and in the next few weeks he will go from preforming experiments to writing up analysis's on some of the research they are doing. So even though things have been tough the last few months-- I have to say my husband continues to prove himself on the battle field, and I can't be more proud of him. 

Purpose

I've thought a lot about my purpose at this point in my life lately. I remember once walking past a very small, cute home located on a busy street in downtown Ogden during my college years, and thinking... do the people that live in this humble residence feel anymore or less purpose than the people who live in the mansions on the foothills? I determined at that point in time that I doubt it mattered that much. The home we live in or the cars we drive or the things we own do not add to our purpose. They may reflect some of our purpose- but definetly do not define our purpose. When I talk about purpose I guess what I am really talking about happiness. When we feel like we are fullfilling a purpose in our families or careers or other areas in the community- our level of happiness rises. At which point I believe opens more doors for more purpose and more happiness.

Why this topic seems to have occupied my mind lately is probably my own internal battle to fight all the doubts that have seemed to pour into our lives/situation in the past month or two. I don't want our hard times to define me, at least in a negative way. I have been fighting being angry, sad, afraid, and so on. I believe these emotions can cloud our purpose. Make situations seem darker, when in fact the "purpose" the Lord may actually have in mind is to fill our lives with greater light and purpose. I believe we are chastened by the Lord to lift us up, not tear us down. As we accept the chastening we can only become a better person. Someone with deeper thoughts and deeds. I can only hope and pray that we will endure this time well, as I desperately desire a life for my family and I of great purpose and happiness.

As for the day to day in our lives, and particularly of Will's recovery, we are keeping busy. Just last week we spent sometime with Will's rehab therapist from two years back. She marveled at his continued recovery and remarked that so many people with as serious of an injury as Will's, do not have such a remarkable recovery. I know we are truly blessed. Some of the noticable recovery from my standpoint in the last six months even have been in the areas of organization and executive functioning. There was a day a few weeks ago where Will, I'm assuming was having a bad day and did not accomplish much. I wanted to cry-- terrified that the deficit was back or maybe had not resolved (he had spent so much time studying the last six months I hardly was able to track where he was and where he was going recovery wise).  My temporary fears were dashed as he has spent almost everyday since that day looking for jobs, sending emails, connecting up with medical researchers, and etc... I am amazed. I really do have a whole new husband as of 2012. Other good news not related to Will's recovery is the leaping lizard I have inside of me. Our little baby in waiting is moving everyday-- sometimes I wonder if he ever sleeps!  We can't wait to hold him in our arms come mid-September. And the last tidbit of good news is Ben's cast comes off tomorrow!!! I can't wait!  Well I better end my forever long post. Thank you for sharing your lives with ours as you read this blog and pray for us along our journey. Below are some pictures some of the purposeful moments we have enjoyed in the past few weeks.