Determined

Today I've been glued to my iPhone. I've been worried about my relatives back east caught in the fury of Sandy's Hurricane. My sister in law with her two boys and infant daughter were of particular concern. They spent the day hiding out while the storm raged on. I am glad they have taken shelter and I pray that the shelter holds up. I think it will. I guess I'm sharing this post as a follow up from my last post. None of us are free from storms or devastation or hard days. It's incredible when you start to really count the people you know at any given time who might be passing through a very difficult health problem or job loss or family crisis, or so on. I'm determined, as I have determined so many times before, that I will not leave others comfortless. Or in other words I won't live senseless. Senseless of the pain of those around me. So many are huddled in their homes hoping for relief from their storms. Many crippled by a loss of power and light. I know it is all to easy to forget about what others might be going through when you are going through your own calvary. And I want to add especially when part of that difficulty involves someone who has offended you in one way or another. It's easy to actually want to see them suffer -- so you might somehow be justified. I vow today as I have before to not be senseless and not seek justification. I hope to be more successful in my goals as I set them again and again. One day I hope to report that I have arrived. That my storms excite compassion for those around me, and not anger for those that have wronged me. 

The storm

I don't have but a minute to talk with you tonight. Our beautiful newborn is sick with RSV, we just moved, Will picked up a part time job that works him early morning hours, and I write in the evening for my work hours. Between his schedule and mine, we hardly get time for one another or to ourselves. Will picked working in the wee hours of the morning so he can still study/volunteer/research up at the University of Utah. He is hoping to land a job there, but as time and funds were running out we had to act fast. Don't get me wrong- I am very grateful we have jobs. But this just happens to be one those times where I feel like we are carrying the weight of the world. Like the spinning and twisting of our destinies or futures or whatever you want to call it has us asking-- when is it going to stop? When Will my husband get his chance? And I know that life is about learning to dance in the rain, but sometimes it rains so hard that it's best to take cover and wait for the storm to pass.