Like before

I was talking to my husband the other day, and I don't think he knew, but we practically repeated a conversation we had from before he had a stroke. This may not be a big deal to many reading, but to me it was a big deal. There were times when I never thought a "pre-stroke" Will would be possible. Our articulate conversations is particularly what I am referring to. Analyzing, detailing, problem solving-- these things were a little hazy in the days following his stroke-- actually they were really hazy for the first two years following the stroke.  After our first year of marriage I began to feel the pressure of making decisions and solving "our problems" and etc… melt away. Little by little our roles have become more equal.  Will can identify issues and can create solutions much like he did before the stroke. He is on his way. Currently, on his journey towards taking the boards, Will's practice test scores are improving all the time.  And while I don't know if he'll make the impossible possible (passing a test only first year residents are required to take and pass, after much in clinic experience) if anyone can do it he can. Will studies 8-10 hours a day and it's amazing. In the meantime, anyone reading this blog can know it's been tried, tested and proven -- persistence and belief in a better day will lead to extraordinary results.

Moving forward...

My heart broke into a million pieces a few weeks ago when my sister called me to let me know a close friend of mine lost her brother, TJ, in a car accident. He was only 18 years old.... in fact last year I took his high school senior pictures. After the shock of the news wore off I sorta just rolled into a state of sadness... I couldn't believe it. And when I tried to believe it, I was just more sad. I tried to explain the pain away but that didn't help either. In fact I've been so late on this blog entry because I haven't known what to say. I still don't really know what to say. I don't think TJ's sister will ever read this, and I don't have to make things better for the family, but I at least want to offer comfort. Comfort to anyone who has dealt with loss on such a grand scale.

I read in the news an article of a young mother her lost her husband.... she said she didn't like the phrase "moving on" you don't ever move on from something like this. You move forward. From the minute something like this happens you start "moving forward."  You don't let it "define you" or hold you back. In Will's case the stroke will always be a part of his life. But how he has moved forward and continues to move forward from his injury has made all the difference. Our marriage is one of the many results of his not giving up. Of his moving forward. His positive attitude in the face of such a difficult circumstance has made his situation so much better than it could have been.

As far as words of comfort-- I want to share one thing I know for sure. That this life is not the end. It isn't the beginning either. We lived with our Heavenly Father before we came. We accepted the opportunity to come here and TJ has returned to prepare to live with our Father in Heaven once more. And while the separation for his family is bitter. It is not forever. TJ's family can see him again, if they also live worthy to see the Father again. TJ's mother has already said her desire to live better is so much stronger, knowing that if she lives right she can see her son again. And it is only through the atoning sacrifice of the Father's Only Begotten, Jesus Christ, who made it possible for our flesh to be taken up again and to be reunited with our spirit. No greater comfort can I offer than the personal invitation to all who read this blog to strengthen their relationship with the Savior. So that they might live in total peace that no matter what happens in this life.... we will live again.  And we can live in glory with our families as we lean on our Saviors purifying power, and become more worthy each day for his kingdom.

When TJ died he was on the way home from a dentist appointment. The appointment was one of a few appointments he needed to complete to prepare to leave his family for two years and serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I believe February 1, 2012, TJ instead was called to serve a different mission.

Take a minute to watch the following video clip about a man who lost half his family in a car crash caused by a drunk driver...