Wading through...

I don't know if I am the only one that does this, but sometimes I get my mind so wrapped up into one thought-- if things don't go the way I plan them than I'm a wreck. A week or two a go I was in one of my mind warps where I was determined to accomplish a few objectives. The more days that passed and I couldn't realize my goals I became more and more upset. I was also angry and unreasonable at moments. In fact in one of these moments I found myself trying to put our newborn down for the night. Generally, putting down James is such a treat. Holding him close is so peaceful. Watching him breath and smile in his sleep, I just melt. But this particular night as I held him I felt nothing, and in that moment I realized something. We can block out love. We can block out all the good if we are not careful. Things can seem so much worse than they really are. Our thoughts can put us places where we neglect very important relationships and miss out on some of life's most beautiful sunsets. 

When I think about what Will has gone through and the difficult waters he still has to wade through I know he could be in a very dark place, but he is not. Finding the beautiful in the hard times is critical. I would hate to miss my newborn's love and I know Will could have missed out on our marriage and so much more if he would have succumb to despair. It's not worth spending even a minute there. And even though none of us are perfect and I'm sure we all fall into a pit of pity from time to time; making a conscience effort to climb out will help us see that there is so much more to life than we ever imagined. And our blessing are great indeed :)