Recovery

Recovery: the regaining of or possibility of regaining something lost or taken away.  

I think of the definition of recovery and I feel like it really applies to more than just health. Sometimes Will and I feel cheated- like his career as a doctor was "taken away," and as we talk about his recovery we are really talking about restoring his career before the stroke. His mind before the injury.  But when we think of things in this way- sometimes we're angry or hurt about the "recovery" or maybe lack thereof. Don't get me wrong-- Will has and continues to experience a miraculous recovery. We are thankful everyday for his working memory and planning abilities (because at one time they were non existent). But as far as recovering a career and a means to provide for his family-- we're still working or hoping to regain this. 

I guess I'm saying this today because I realize it is easy to be angry. Angry that five years after the stroke we are still in survival mode, and not "flourishing" in a career. But five years is a long time to be angry and hurt, is it really worth the energy? If I could give some advice to individuals in similar circumstances it would be, move through your anger and grief at the things you have lost when you need to, but spend more of your time focusing on the things you do have instead of the things you wish you still had.

As for Will and I we're happy as clams with our two boys and little apartment. Ben is talking up a storm and James is smiling everyday. I'm grateful for our boys, I'm grateful for Will. We're grateful for our jobs and we're glad we are together-- these realities make the harder realities bearable.