From the beginning...

I've been thinking a lot lately about the beginning. When Will was first out of the hospital. When he would easily frustrate if too many conversations were going on in the room, or if we were coaching him to improve.  Or when our conversations were one or two words, and involved very little eye contact. He was always slouched on the couch and looking dreadfully tired. He was not confused, because he had so little to think about. But we were constantly perplexed with how best to help him and why he wasn't "helping" himself. Considering his state, the last thing on my mind was a relationship.  I only knew I would need someone to step in and offer a hand of friendship- if I were ever in his situation. I had no idea what the future held for us. What wonderful things were in store for the both of us. During those first two years, we drifted through intense sorrow, anger, and at times pity.  I can't tell you how many times we both wept. Our faces reddened from the hours of inconsolable pain. We couldn't accept what had happened to Will. We were trying to accept that he might never get better. Those times, are now such a distant memory. And while the consequences of Will's stroke still haunt our bank accounts, and have me fretting for the future of our children… they are so small in comparison- to those first two years.

I guess I am talking about this now because I have been following a couple blogs (Elder Schenk & Rob's Stroke Recovery) that have me wanting to reach out and just hold the members of the families of those involved. To let them know that things will get better, in fact they can be better than they were before the said incident. One blog hits close to home because it involves a father who had a stroke a few weeks before graduating with an advanced dental degree. Another hits a nerve because it is a missionary from Utah who was hit in Brazil and is clinging to life in a hospital there…. as the weeks pass he is slowly recovering an much of what he is currently going through resembles Will's first few weeks, after his stroke.

I don't want those reading this blog to believe that I am saying that because my husband "got better" that everyone will have a happy ending.  Our ending is far from over and we're still hoping for the happy part. What I mean to say is that the experience of going through something so traumatic-- has deepened our joys and lifted us from the life we had known. Not only do we weep when we read these blogs- out of a shared feeling, but we know that no matter how difficult the journey-- they will not be left comfortless if they rely on the hope of a better day.  There is more to this life than careers, wealth, and comfort.  This knowledge makes you better. It changes the way you treat others. It changes the way you use your time. And for this I will be eternally grateful.  I pray for those that suffer. I know that their sorrows are many and are not light, but I know with deepened joy they can know that there is a Father in Heaven who has not left them alone, and who will strengthen them every step of the way-- this is what makes it all worth it.

As for the rest of our lives… We find out the gender of the baby I carry a week from today. The offer on our condo fell through so we won't be moving yet!  Which is great because originally we were moving the week of Will's big test. And of course my husband is getting more involved in his studies because the  date of the exam is quickly approaching.  He wakes up at 5:30 am most mornings and studies morning till dawn.  I get his time on weekends :) Below are pictures from Ben's first two Easter egg hunts.  It's sooo much fun having a toddler!!  Ben is soooo cute!  Will was much more effective in guiding Ben to the eggs. Ben came away from "my" easter egg hunt with three eggs and the one where daddy was there too, with 12 easter eggs. I love my Boys!!