To be continued...

I don't know if the last post was a cliff hanger for you, but I thought I'd bring you back off the cliff. Will took the second part of his test on Wednesday. He feels like he did OK. With these types of tests "OK" means you know you missed a whole lot, but you're hoping you answered enough correctly to pass. The results will not be revealed until June sometime, so I'm afraid we'll have keep you waiting again.

Finally the pressure of the test has been lifted. Will and I spent the last half a week celebrating. It has been wonderful! Below are some of the adventures we have gone on. As for what's next the list includes: finding a job, trying to sell our condo, looking for experince in radiology to beef up our resume, preparing for the arrival of our next son, etc...

Since I started with the news, I will end with a thought. Will's family is overflowing with marriages lately. To date- one of his sisters has been married this year, a  brother is engaged and Will's youngest sister just announced her engagement. We are not even half way through the year and at least three kids in his family will tie the knot before years end! Will is thrilled, he is practically all smiles whenever we talk about his family. When I look at where they are currently and the time we've had in our marriage, I can't help but feel grateful. Marriage comes with so much more than companionship. It brings with it sacrifice, understanding, stability, new challenges, children, and a lot of work from both in the partnership to build a secure home for their family. I cannot on paper begin to describe how much my love for Will has grown through all of the experinces our marriage has brought with it. It feels like putting a pea next to a watermelon, like the earth next to Jupiter. I am so grateful that Will has worked day in and day out, not only to regain his career, but serve and love me. To support me in my role, and give me wings to fly. I love him more today than I ever have. I believe that some day that love can fill the emancity of space.  Love can continue to grow, much like our children will grow, and then they bring children of their own, and so on. The family/love never stops growing. What any of this has to do with Will's recovery, I guess it has everything to do with it.  Will has taken a challenge and instead of turning inward he has turned outward. He has made it possible for our relationship to flourish-- out of the love and compassion that he has gained from those challenges. I know that it could have been just as easy for him to turn inward and find less reason to love and live fully, but he did not. And for this I will be eternally grateful.

After Will's test he came home to this carrier for his bike. He has fond memories of his dad riding around  his siblings on such a seat, so I thought I'd suprise him with his own. 

Hiking with Ben. This is the only time I held him, the rest of the time, Will carried Ben and I carried our other baby ;)

Ben's thumbs up after a great walk around Temple Square.

Ben loves his backpack.

We had a dutch oven party for Will a couple days after the test. We had like a billion kids there (nieces, nephews, kids of friends). It was lots of fun!

Living in Limbo

I wonder if I were able to take a poll of all the people who read this blog, what percentage of them could really relate with the title of this post. I don't know how common it is to feel like you have no control over your situation, or like all you can do is wait and hope. Friday Will took the first part of Step three. After eight hours in testing he returned home at 8 pm to then prepare to wake up at 5:30 am the next day for his next day of eight hour testing. Once he arrived, however, the following day the computer lab he was taking the test through had unforeseen technical difficulties and Will's test was postponed. We have spent the last few days on the phone and sending messages. We are not sure when we will be able to take the rest of the test, but for now we are in limbo. Our initial reaction was frustration. It feels like the same thing we have been dealing with for years, just another "wait and hope" situation.  I guess this is why I believe we are not the only ones.

I think of my friend Marshall, who is admits his chemo therapy treatments, that don't seem to be doing the trick.  He is a week or two away from a bone marrow transplant. Marshall and his wife and family can only wait to see if it will make a difference. Wait on the test results. His life is on hold right now, with little he can do to change his situation.

I believe much of our purpose in this life is to learn to trust. Trust that things will work out. So often we don't have a choice in what happens to us, but we always have a choice to determine how we react to the things that happen to us. I am inspired with the way Marshall has and continues to deal with his situation. We are all on the edge of our seats, hoping for the best for Marshall. Our hearts are breaking, thinking about his baby boy who desperately needs a father. We don't understand the what and why behind everything, but we know that we have all power over who we are and how we live. Defeat or victory lies within. I know no matter where we end up, I'm married to a victor. So even with all the set back's Will has and continues to run into in his career path -- we still win- not because of what happens to us but because of who Will is and how he continues to deal with what has happened to him.

Have I ever told you my husband and I come from a "house divided" I am a U graduate and Will is a BYU graduate. Needless to say Will's family was not amused when I sent out this text of Ben in front of Will's testing center. 

This was the cake I made for my husband's mid-way through his test celebration ;)