Living in Limbo

I wonder if I were able to take a poll of all the people who read this blog, what percentage of them could really relate with the title of this post. I don't know how common it is to feel like you have no control over your situation, or like all you can do is wait and hope. Friday Will took the first part of Step three. After eight hours in testing he returned home at 8 pm to then prepare to wake up at 5:30 am the next day for his next day of eight hour testing. Once he arrived, however, the following day the computer lab he was taking the test through had unforeseen technical difficulties and Will's test was postponed. We have spent the last few days on the phone and sending messages. We are not sure when we will be able to take the rest of the test, but for now we are in limbo. Our initial reaction was frustration. It feels like the same thing we have been dealing with for years, just another "wait and hope" situation.  I guess this is why I believe we are not the only ones.

I think of my friend Marshall, who is admits his chemo therapy treatments, that don't seem to be doing the trick.  He is a week or two away from a bone marrow transplant. Marshall and his wife and family can only wait to see if it will make a difference. Wait on the test results. His life is on hold right now, with little he can do to change his situation.

I believe much of our purpose in this life is to learn to trust. Trust that things will work out. So often we don't have a choice in what happens to us, but we always have a choice to determine how we react to the things that happen to us. I am inspired with the way Marshall has and continues to deal with his situation. We are all on the edge of our seats, hoping for the best for Marshall. Our hearts are breaking, thinking about his baby boy who desperately needs a father. We don't understand the what and why behind everything, but we know that we have all power over who we are and how we live. Defeat or victory lies within. I know no matter where we end up, I'm married to a victor. So even with all the set back's Will has and continues to run into in his career path -- we still win- not because of what happens to us but because of who Will is and how he continues to deal with what has happened to him.

Have I ever told you my husband and I come from a "house divided" I am a U graduate and Will is a BYU graduate. Needless to say Will's family was not amused when I sent out this text of Ben in front of Will's testing center. 

This was the cake I made for my husband's mid-way through his test celebration ;)