To hope and quietly wait...

Last night Will was reading in the Old Testament in Lamentations 3:26 "It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord." He read it aloud to me, because he was so impressed with the scripture. At the time we both felt like our hoping and waiting, was finally almost over, but this morning we found out it is not. The journey feels like it has just lengthened by months or even more years. Neither of us know what to do or how to feel. Will did not pass Step 3. And while all the justification was there for why it may be impossible to do, (i.e. four years since medical school, a stroke - which caused significant memory loss and etc...) somehow we hoped the impossible could become possible. So today instead of dwelling too much on our disappointments... I want to talk about our sons recent broken leg.

Two days ago our little guy seemed to collapse under his weight on a playground. It wasn't a trip, or a jump that turned into a fall, it was just a fall that turned quickly into a lot more tears than we expected. He kept on saying "sad, sad, sad, sad." Within minutes I knew we would be spending sometime in the ER. I was able to keep it together- even when I had to leave the room during the Xray (on account of our baby in waiting). I watched from the hallway, as our little man screamed, but I kept it together. It wasn't until we had him home and fast asleep that I lost it. I couldn't believe that someone so innocent and undeserving, would be given such suffering. It wasn't on account of sloppy stepping, or reckless jumping. He just fell. And in a moment his ability to walk was taken away from him. Benjamin doesn't really understand what happened to him, and when he tries to stand up, that stance is greeted a sharp pain. I'm of course worried the ache will keep him from standing even when he can stand again.

Will's situation is not that different from Ben's. I can't imagine another person more undeserving as Will of such a burden. And much like little 20 month old Ben, we don't understand why we have lost so much. But I believe what it says in Lamentations "it is good to hope and quietly wait..." I believe not only is there purpose to what we are going through. I believe the hoping will bring us closer to the "salvation of the Lord" than ever we could get without this particular waiting period we've been given. Finally, while the fear to once again try to stand is ever present, because of a past riddled with failed tries, I know Ben will walk again and Will is going to suceed, someday. So keep tuned cause this story STILL aint over ;)