Lost in the mix

There is the before and the after. Before Will did or was like this… after the stroke Will did or was like this… I admit that sometimes I obsess over what he was like before the stroke.

Will has always been an incredibly secure person. He never puts people down and he doesn't feel the need to boast about how he is better than any one. One day I was driving in the car with my honey and asked him-- have you ever had an identity crisis?  He laughed and said he didn't remember any growing up but that he was "having one now if that counts."  So much of who we are and how we treat one another stems from how we feel about ourselves. So much of what we feel about ourself can be influenced by how we perform in crowds, or scholastics, or sports, or you name it. So for someone like Will- who was a doctor and who now is not a doctor and not working in the medical field or any real field of worldly significance-- what must he feel? How must he feel? I  have to tell you my heart has broken more than once at some of the responses he has given me to this question. When I say this I'm not saying he hates himself or puts himself down-- but lets be honest sometimes he feels like he did something terribly wrong to deserve a stroke. Or sometimes he feels bad that he can't provide more for the family. So at the end of the day what really matters?

The more I live in this world -- with so many surprises and so many heartbreaks-- the more I realize that so many people feel very badly about themselves. The stroke, five years ago, could have been the beginning of a lot of anger and despair. I admit, unfortunately, it has caused some of that, but we are learning. Will is learning, to see his value in different ways than he saw it before. I think this takes courage. I hope that anyone reading this blog who feels torn down might learn to see themselves in a different way-- not in the way the world sees us, but the ways God sees us. We are wonderful. We are beautiful.  Stroke or no stroke, job or no job, single or married, married or divorced, content or depressed-- these things change us but they don't have to ruin us.  What really matters is you. Rise up to the challenge - and you'll see extraordinary things in your life.